Monday, July 11, 2011

Who the fuck writes this crap

 

I have to admit, I hate blogs.  Loooooaaathe them.  In general, anyway.   Sure, they have their place.  Friends or family separated by distance, perhaps they use it to catch up.  Maybe you blather on about your family and how you finally brought little timmy to go cut down his own chirstmas tree.  Blogs are great for this because your friends that don’t really care can not really read them. 

Maybe it's thematic and professional – like a blog about an expert beer maker.  Or maybe it’s your uncle and his terrible blog about how he makes shitty beer, and when he takes photos of the process he doesn’t wear a shirt and his belly always photobombs the hops. 

While there are plenty that I have freely enjoyed, there's mostly big steaming piles of shit.  Allow me to point out the things you do with your blog that probably annoy.  Feel free to list my blog among them.

1. You list things.  And not just an awesome top 10 best break up songs list, but your individual numbers go on FOR PAGES.  You bother to use numbers which alerts us that despite the length and relative dullness of your first few pages, you intend to then attack this subject from a new angle under a new numbered paragraph.  Which, you might just read in utter amazement that someone could go on that long.  Or not.

2. (shhh, it’s called irony). (Also, the incorrect usage of irony).  (And maybe punctuation.)

3. Excessive use of wikipedia, hyperlinks, and otherwise stupid references to belabor your point and help you make believe you are some sort of an expert on a topic because you drone on about it to excess, and have your links to prove it.  God.  Just eat your gun now.  We can all agree you’re not an expert on anything, and more to the point, we don’t give a shit. 

That’s all I’ve got.  If I write any more, I’m going to hate my own blog more than I already do.

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